Preschool Woes

Have you noticed the pattern of shrieking and screaming yet? I know I certainly did, but I tried and tried to give Joey the understanding of what we were communicating to him. But it seemed like the harder I tried, the more frustrated we all got. Back then, I knew very little about autism or Asperger's, so I brushed off the symptoms I saw when more positive things were happening with him.

Joey's aptitude in academics began early. And his visual propensity manifested during his 2nd year. He drew his 1st recognizable figures at 2 years old: a bubble person wearing dark glasses and a turtle. Around the same time, he began writing his name and the word "moon". He drew this same funny cow and moon picture over and over again.

He was also very resourceful in his play. Just before his 3rd birthday, he created a horse-drawn buggy from his stuffed horse, a belt, and a plastic wagon. He would build and rebuild...and rebuild....and rebuild. Certainly I noticed that he acted out scenes repetitively, although I wasn't sure where he got the ideas.

And his preschool director noticed too, which is why we had several meetings to discuss Joey's screaming and "odd behavior", otherwise known as "imaginary play." When I asked her if she had experience with a child like Joey, she expressed that she had, and those children went on to become very bright, gifted students, but suggested that I place Joey in the public school's 3K program for kids with "his problems." To this, I expressed that I didn't care for their secret nickname for my son (Josephine, because he had a high-pitched shriek) and if memory served me correctly, Joey was knocking his academic parts of the day out of the park AND was drawing and writing while his 2 and 3 year old classmates were shoving Playdoh up their noses or flushing random objects down the toilet. And somehow MY kid needed special care? Ha! The director pretty much said their CHRISTIAN preschool didn't want him to go into their 3K program because he screamed in the mornings when I dropped him off, and because he probably wasn't learning anything anyway because he was "special".

So I did what any mother would do: proved them wrong. I did have Joey screened for the school's 3K programs, and, big surprise, he was entirely too "smart" and his fine motor skills were at the level of a 5 year old at barely 3 years of age. The only issue they found of course was a language delay. They didn’t see where his behavior needed intervention because frustration and tantrums go along with the language delay territory. So he began weekly speech therapy at the school. Did I inform the director of the preschool of this gratifying (mostly) news? You betcha!

Thankfully, at this time, Joey was also going to a wonderful babysitter after pre-school because I had gone back to work full time. Having her own children with special needs, she had a great understanding when it came to Joey’s language delay. And being the natural-born teacher that she is, she was able to help Joey communicate better with sign language, and she provided plenty of structure as well.

And so, while Mommy and Daddy were working, Joey spent his mornings at preschool where he was often punished for becoming frustrated with building blocks or being misunderstood. In the afternoons, he was with Miss Sabrina, learning communication and social skills, and having fun….except for those days when he had to tag along for shopping trips or doctor’s appointments. (My apologies, Sabrina  Or Misabina, as Joey called you) . She was quite gracious about the whole sensory overload meltdowns.

In the evenings, the same old same old would occur: hyperactivity, frustration, meltdowns, and nightly bedtime struggles. There were nights when Joey wouldn’t fall asleep until 12 or 1 a.m.. You would think after a very active day of screaming, playing, learning, running, running…..and running some more, that he’d be somewhat tired come 8 or 9 in the evening. Nope! The nightly routine was bath, jammies, and me attempting to read to Joey. But he would get frustrated with this part very quickly, and until about a year ago (almost age 6), he would fight being read to. Even as a newborn, when I’d try to softly read to him, he’d get agitated and start wailing. I began to wonder if my voice was just that abrasive, or was something else going on.

Reading time finished…somewhat…let the horror film shrieking commence! Sometimes Joey would shriek for as much as 2 or 3 hours at night, running to his doorway screaming only "Mommy!" Eventually, he'd wear himself out, and I'd have to pick him up from the floor to place him in his bed. This went on for probably a year or so.

I'd like to add here that affection, hugs and kisses, were something Joey didn't do. He would barely tolerate them from us, and shunned others' attempts. But he was extremely happy when he was happy, and a holy terror when he was upset. He made okay eye contact, but he didn't enjoy the company of other children, unless they were older. He LOVED adults.

When Joey turned 3, things got a little better in the communication department because he was in speech therapy, but we still couldn't get past the meltdowns and hyperactive behavior. I soon found out why the Terrible Two's were no match for the Trying Three's...Yikes!

(THE PHOTOS IN THE NEXT POST ARE OF SOME OF THE VERY FIRST DRAWINGS JOEY CREATED ALSO AT AGE 2...THERE WERE TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES WHEN I INITIALLY TRIED TO ADD THESE TO THIS PARTICULAR POST)