September 2007 - Joey is 3 1/2 yrs old at this point, and has begun staying at home with Daddy while I work full time. Daddy usually took him to his weekly speech therapy session at the school. There was some progress, but the speech therapist had too many expectations of a 3 yr old. She would send home worksheets that were clearly meant for 5-6 yr olds. Needless to say, I was very unimpressed with her therapy.
Joey's behaviors began to escalate, specifically the meltdowns and hyperactivity. His repetitive play, building and rebuilding the same things over and over again, and some echolalia became more intense. His sleep schedule was all over the place. One month he would sleep peacefully through the night, then for the next 3-4 months he'd moan and cry through the night. Then for several more months it would be impossible to get him to fall asleep. We started him on a low dosage of melatonin to help him fall asleep and stay asleep. It was like a miracle supplement for him. He slept through the night with almost no problems whatsoever...at least not at that point.
Joey's knack for taking the unconventional and innovating concepts and designs beyond his young years skyrocketed that year. Wooden blocks, sofa cushions, toys, shoes, clothing, wooden spoons, pretty much anything could become something from his wild imagination. How many 3 yr olds do you know who build a scaled model of a scene from a movie, tv show, or book using green and brown clothing to mold a mountain?
At this stage, Joey was fascinated with Spongebob Squarepants, and would watch the same episodes over and over again. He also began drawing Spongebob repeatedly, even on his bedroom wall. It was actually quite good, so I couldn't bring myself to paint over it when I began painting his room.
Joey stayed at home with Daddy until we decided it would be better if Joey were around other children so he could learn social skills. So I found a gymnastics daycare program that I thought would be perfect for burning some of his excessive energy and becoming more socialized.
At first, things were going well. He was the only boy, and was volunteered during playtime to be the prince, the king, or on one occasion, the groom. He seemed to enjoy being in the company of all girls, much like his dad at that age. The daycare teacher sometimes couldn't understand what Joey was saying, and she gave us reports on all tantrums or screaming.
One common autistic trait is echolalia, which pretty much means repeating what others say, or just repeating one's self a lot. So when he began screaming a certain bad word (the mother of the them all) ONLY while he was at daycare, I knew it had to be coming from one of the other children. I was right. The oldest girl, a 4 yr old, had been whispering foul language into the ears of the younger kids. The teacher finally figured it out, and kicked the girl out of her daycare. But she never apologized for blaming us for the language Joey screamed when he was melting down.
His teacher knew he had a language delay, but on one occasion (in front of other parents...and Joey) she asked, "Is there something else wrong with him other than the speech?". First off, it's a language delay, not speech delay. And, yes, there is a difference. Anyway, I was a little peeved because it sounded to me like she was saying my son was academically delayed, like he couldn't learn. Strike 1, daycare moron!
On another occasion, the daycare teacher punished Joey for being afraid of a movie she had put in for the girls. You see,it was just before this incident that Joey began having an irrational fear of things on tv or in movies that he once was fascinated with. Specifically, Pixar or Pixar-like films or shows. When I say "irrational fear", I'm talking running away, screaming, hands covering ears, scared to death. So when this daycare teacher put in a Barbie movie, and Joey freaked out, she took it to mean he just didn't want to watch Barbie, and was "pitching a fit" about it. To punish him, she put him in seclusion. Brilliant move on her part (sarcasm). Strike 2!
By December of that year, I'd had enough of yet another daycare provider who wasn't fit to watch children period! She refused to do academic work with Joey because "he didn't understand any of it anyway." Strike 3! You're Out!!! Having been pegged as LD or mute and/or dumb myself by classmates because I was so painfully shy, I can say this without any reservation: Do not EVER mistake a quiet wallflower personality for stupidity or incapacity. If I didn't talk, it was because I had nothing to say or those around me were, quite frankly, boring. Idle chit-chat is still an annoyance for me, as I'm sure it is for Joey.
My search for a daycare that would accept a child with autistic traits...and had an available spot....led me to a wonderful Christian daycare with a 3K teacher who was so sweet. And she genuinely enjoyed the children. She and the rest of the staff at the daycare were great with Joey. And they never complained or questioned anything. They just worked through situations in a creative manner, and fostered his creative spirit. The only time they ever came to me in concern was when all the kids at the daycare took a trip to see Disney on Ice. They asked me to tag along because they weren't sure how he would handle the crowd and noise level. He stood during the entire event, but he was the most quiet of all the kids. The other day, I asked Joey if he'd ever watched "Aladdin" because I noticed it was coming on the Family Channel. He said he hadn't, but he remembered how the fire-breathing dragon scared him when he saw Disney on Ice....He was only 3 yrs old when he went to that event.
To say Joey has a remarkable memory would be an understatement. I wouldn't be surprised if he came to me one day and said, "Mom, I remember falling down this very short, dark tunnel"...hahaha!
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